How many times have you compared yourself to that one mom who seems to have it all together? Her work deadlines are met while still looking fantastic, her children are well-rounded academics and sports persons while playing Beethoven on the piano, she never misses her daily sessions at the gym and has a partner that is perfect in every way. We can’t help but be left wondering, “how does she do it all?”. Well, she probably doesn’t and if she does, it probably comes at a huge expense to her mental health – no matter what her posts on social media depict.
“The truth is, that when it comes to living our social media perfect lives, it becomes very clear that having it all is overrated,” comments Bronwyn Ragavan, brand manager for Personal Touch. “We often run ourselves ragged trying to keep up with the Jones, without realising that not being perfect is perfectly fine.”
The term “having it all”, was coined by Helen Gurley Brown, editor-in-chief for over 30 years of the American Cosmopolitan magazine. Initially the term was meant to suggest that women, married and unmarried, could have both – a good career and some fun. Since then, the term has been pushed onto women to make us believe that anything less than perfection in all avenues of our lives is a failure. The pressure and stress of trying to achieve this can leave us with feelings of inadequacy.
“Due to society conditioning, for us to do and have it all, changing this thought pattern most likely won’t happen overnight,” comments Ragavan. “It all comes with small changes and learning to say no.”
Ragavan suggests that this Women’s Day, practising small changes to our daily lives, initially having a small impact, can lead to longer lasting habits:
- If you have a separate work phone, switch it off for the day or even better for the long weekend, or if you receive your work calls on your private phone, screen your calls only answering the non-work-related ones. This day is all about you, and no one else. Your work phone should be for work hours only, and not replace your time with your family.
- Breathe and relax. This can be different for different people. Some women will enjoy going on a hike or a cycle, while others will prefer to be at home watching a bingeworthy series. Do what makes YOU happy – and try to do this more than just one day a year.
- If you must do housework this long weekend, rope in your family. You are not expected to pick up after everyone. A chore chart will work wonders in helping to keep the home clean as well as free up your own time. Personal Touch Washing Powder Sheets is so simple, your teenager will have nothing to moan about when doing the laundry. One sheet, one wash – done.
- If you are feeling overwhelmed, speak to your partner about it, and come to an agreement about how you can work together to lessen your load. Making a plan as a couple will give you the confidence that you can make this work. If you are a single parent, see if friends and family can help. A support system is so important when trying to navigate your busy life.
- Do things that make you happy. Buy those shoes, eat that cake, soak in that bubble bath or take that afternoon nap you have been planning for the past two years. You need to give yourself moments of happiness to look forward to, without having to think about how others are going to think about you.
When we forget about what we think the world expects from us, or what mom influencers are telling us we should be doing, chances are the term “having it all” will mean different things to different women. It is time to forget about what is “expected” of us, and what society has decided is the perfect woman, let’s turn the phrase “having it all” into “having the best life”.
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